Monday, December 31, 2012

iRun, up the wall

As easy as it might sound to strike up an argument against the creationist lobby, sometimes it does feel like somebody put you in the wrong end at the grand scheme of things and further, just for amusement, did all that in one day so you can notice. 

Now, whoever brought about the concept of ironing to the civilisation should have been alive today. That way, I could find him and thank him for the generous donation of this social concept, shortly after which, i will skin him alive and wear his fur like i was in 10000 B.C. for the rest of my life. It simply is the most annoying, back-breaking, mind-numbing, power-wasting, repetitive, mundane and useless activity which has been brought upon mankind by a bunch of misinformed idiots hundreds of years ago. Even skin has wrinkles after you cross 18 before which your face would've looked like the surface of the moon, so, not sure where and how that idea caught on. Many brilliant ideas flashed in people's heads while on the toilet, in the bath, under an apple tree, in dreams while sleeping, while high on drugs, while filing papers in a patent office in Switzerland, but not a single useful thing came to a person's head while ironing his clothes.

This world, should be devoid of ironing, it is something which should have ended on December the 21st and somebody managed to slip that through their fingers. Contrary to belief, dress code should not be abolished, it should be imposed and imposed strictly at work. Before that, there should be someone who does the noble job of inventing completely iron-free clothes. For a race that has invented completely waterproof clothes, bubble wrap, the space shuttle and concord, it shouldn't be all that difficult to get their heads around this problem. There should be one pair of work clothes and it should hang in a locker at work, you go there in your pyjamas, change into it, work, change back to your pyjamas and get home. End of story. I know it's possible, i visited a nuclear reactor once and there are about 300 lockers full of such clothes, with names on them, which are only used once every 4 years when the reactors are serviced. Added to that, there are clothes for guests, visitors, regular employees, emergency people, the list goes on. But, in the rare combination that you're 21 and male, the tour guide is female and the decontaminated jumpsuit isn't completely opaque would make you miss big parts of the tour a case some kids in my tour group were fortunate to experience couple of years ago. No matter, the fact remains that ironing is a social evil, unnecessary peer pressure and the biggest waste of a person's time (unless you don't earn your livelihood by ironing).

I loathe about ironing today especially because my iron box packed up, quite spectacularly with sparks in the steam tank filled with water. If it was back at my home, i would've opened it, dried it out and used it again. I don't do that for two reasons, firstly, back home i have enough tools to do all possible things except open-heart surgery and here there isn't much i can do with a chair and a Swiss-army knife.  Two, back at home, the houses are built with bricks and reinforced cement concrete neither of which can be burnt to a crisp where as here, i have no clue what goes on here, and five days ago, my former institute was indeed burnt to a crisp for no apparent reason (a transformer decided to ignite itself and combust spontaneously on Christmas day and torched the whole place) so I'm not brave enough to try anything and possibly risk being chained to Germany for decades repaying the costs of a burnt house. But, i do need to vent out my anger and disgust, firstly at the imbecile who brought about the notion of ironed clothes and secondly to cheap irons boxes made in.... God knows where, which pack up prematurely. Social norm now dictates, that i get a new one.

It's like some divine force knows it's the end of the month and it's time to break some things down to even out the economy because, as I was enraged and put on my glasses to write this post, i was so much in anger that i didn't know how to start. So I scratched my head and voila! the right-eye lens from my spectacles fell out so I had to fix that in anger first. I hope this week is going to be cold, because I'm wearing a sweater till my new iron arrives. I've had it with ironing.


  1. Wear T-Shirts instead of formals. They hardly need ironing :P

  2. You could also switch to a different equipment to iron your clothes - like Rajnikanth did - get a road roller ;)